My God, I love you!
As the years go by, the story of this soul becomes more and more meaningful in my life. Today we celebrate the life and entry into heaven of St. Therese of Lisieux, the Little Flower, as she is lovingly referred to by Catholics young and old. The more I read The Story of a Soul, the more young Therese's words help me put my mind in a less tangled mess. I get this same feeling when I read Lisa Graas and Natasha Tracy, but that is another blog.
Therese suffered the agony of tuberculosis and the agony of abandonment by God. The darkness. The pain. She wrote:
"...the mists round me have become denser than ever; they sink deep into my soul and wrap it round so that I can't recover the dear image...everything has disappeared."
"...sometimes, its true, a tiny ray of light pierces through the darkness, and then, just for a moment, the ordeal is over; but immediately afterward the memory of it brings me no happiness, it seems to make the darkness thicker than ever."
"You mean, to lose! Jesus takes it upon Himself to fill your soul, in the measure that you rid it of its imperfections. I see that you have taken the wrong road; you will never arrive at the end of your journey. You are wanting to climb a great mountain, and the good God is trying to make you descend it; He is waiting for you at the bottom in the fertile valley of humility."
"I know that certain spiritual directors advise us to count our virtuous acts in order to advance in perfection. But my spiritual director, Jesus, does not teach me to count my acts. He teaches me to do it all for love."
More than ever I realized the degree to which your love is sister to mine, since it is called to go up to God by the lift of love, not to climb the rough stairway of fear."
In the evening of this life I shall appear before You empty-handed, for I do not ask You, Lord, to count my works. All our justices have stains in Your sight. So I want to be clad in Your own Justice, and receive from Your Love the possession of Yourself. I want no other Throne or other Crown than You, 0 my Beloved."
Today is a silent day where the words of others will replace my own. Empty hands...empty mind.
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