Read the Fine Print

The Avett Brothers have a song about screaming until you die and the bad thoughts are finally out.  But it also speaks of a bird in a cage...demanding that someone free it.  I haven't blogged since February.  March came with a great healing.  I have met many wonderful new friends who have helped me tremendously.  I have felt "healed", even though I have had a few crashes in this time.  I have come to see the source of many of my depressive moods.  I have searched and searched to find answers.  To find healing.  Now, after these months of healing, I again find myself acknowledging that I suffer from MDD, and I most likely always will.  Ah!  Another epiphany!  I am laughing at myself.  Did I enter into my friends' positive thinking world?  Have I been "fooling myself"  that I really don't have MDD?  I think I did.  Long ago I accepted myself for who I was.  It was very freeing.  I freed myself.  So now, in the midst of another crash, I am freeing myself again.  I am me...and it's ok with me.