Mary - Mother in Mind and Body

As a Protestant, I found two verses in Sacred Scripture which dispelled in my mind the Catholic idea that the Blessed Virgin Mary was, well, anything special.  I thought Almighty God just looked down from heaven one day and found a good, young woman (teenager, even) and decided she would "be the one."  These are the golden "proof texts" which I, and others, believe prove that Mary was just...ordinary:

"Then his mother and his brethren came to him, but they could not reach him for the crowd.  And he was told, 'Your mother and your brethren are standing outside, desiring to see you.'  But he said to them, 'My mother and my brethren are those who hear the word of God and do it.'"

(Luke 8:19-21)

"As he said this, a woman in the crowd raised her voice and said to him, 'Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts that you sucked.'  But he said, 'Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!"

(Luke 11:27-28)

 After converting to Catholicism,  and reading and studying numerous books on Mariology,  I found this quote, from a sermon by St. Augustine, the most concise and most pleasing refutation of my old misconceptions:

Stretching out his hand over his disciples, the Lord Christ declared:  "Here are my mother and my brothers, anyone who does the will of my Father who sent me is my brother and my sister and my mother."  I would urge you to ponder these words.  Did the Virgin Mary, who believed by faith and conceived by faith, who was the chosen one from whom our Savior was born among men, who was created by Christ before Christ was created in her - did she not do the will of the Father?  Indeed the blessed Mary certainly did the Father's will, and so it was for her a greater thing to have been Christ's disciple than to have been his mother, and she was more blessed in her discipleship than in her motherhood.  Hers was the happiness of first bearing in her womb him whom she would obey as her master.

Now listen and see if the words of Scripture do not agree with what I have said.  The Lord was passing by and crowds were following him.  His miracles gave proof of divine power, and a woman cried out:  "Happy is the womb that bore you, blessed is that womb!" But the Lord, not wishing people to seek happiness in a purely physical relationship, replied:  "More blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it."  Mary heard God's word and kept it, and so she is blessed.  She kept God's truth in her mind, a nobler thing than carrying his body in her womb.  The truth and the body were both Christ:  he was kept in Mary's mind insofar as he is truth, he was carried in her womb insofar as he is man; but what is kept in the mind is of a higher order than what is carried in the womb.

The Virgin Mary is both holy and blessed, and yet the Church is greater than she.  Mary is part of the Church, a member of the Church, a holy, an eminent - the most eminent - member, but still only a member of the entire body.  The body undoubtedly is greater than she, one of its members.  This body has the Lord for its head, and head and body together make up the whole Christ.  In other words, our head is divine - our head is God.

Now, beloved, give me your whole attention, for you also are members of Christ; you also are the body of  Christ.  Consider how you yourselves can be among those of whom the Lord said:  "Here are my mother and my brothers."  Do you wonder how you can be the mother of Christ?  He himself said:  Whoever hears and fulfills the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and my sister and my mother."  As for our being the brothers and sisters of Christ, we can understand this because although there is only one inheritance and Christ is the only Son, his mercy would not allow him to remain alone.  It was his wish that we too should be heirs of the Father, and co-heirs with himself.

Now having said that all of you are brothers of Christ, shall I not dare to call you his mother?  Much less would I dare to deny his own words.  Tell me how Mary became the mother of Christ, if it was not by giving birth to the members of Christ?  You, to whom I am speaking, are the members of Christ.  Of whom were you born?  "Of Mother Church," I hear the reply of your hearts.  You became sons of this mother at your baptism, you came to birth then as members of Christ.  Now you in your turn must draw to the font of baptism as many as you possibly can.  You became sons when you were born there yourselves, and now by bringing others to birth in the same way, you have it in your power to become the mothers of Christ. (Office of Readings for November 21)

Mary is the mother of Christ both in mind and body.  She is mother of the Church and our mother.  We, too, become mother and brother and sister of Christ, by virtue of our baptism and our "yes" to Almighty God.  A lifetime isn't enough to meditate on these beautiful truths. 

Today is the Feast of the Presentation of Mary.  You may read about it here.

Fidelity to Error is not a Virtue

Dietrich von Hildebrand, begins his book, Transformation in Christ, quoting St. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians, and states that all must pass through this gate if we wish to reach the goal set before us by God:

Put off the old man who is corrupted according to the desire of error, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind:  and put on the new man, who according to God is created in justice and holiness of truth.  (Eph. 4:22-24)

von Hildebrand says, that the man who has a supernatural readiness to change, seeing his life by a supernatural light and not merely by natural standards, is conscious of his wretchedness, and will not sink into resignation: "for he possesses a supernatural zeal for perfection, expecting the supreme fructification of the talents which God has in reality entrusted to him from his transformation in Christ, rather than from his own effort alone."  He continues:  "Whatever his nature be like, he will know that it is possible for him to become another man if he is rightly disposed for being created anew by Christ - mindful of the words which the king in the parable addresses to his guest:  'Friend, how camest thou in hither not having on a wedding garment?'  (Matt. 22:12).   The state of fluidity in relation to Christ, and the readiness to leave behind everything, particularly one's own self - such is the tissue of which the festive garment is woven."

von Hildebrand states that this state of fluidity can be obstructed when people adhere to errors, by attributing value to what is not genuine virtue.  He says:  "What claims our faithfulness is the presence of genuine values.  Fidelity is but a manifestation of that continuity by virtue of which we pay consideration to the immutability and the eternal significance of truth and of the world of values.

"To abide by a thing inflexibly, merely because we have once believed in it and have come to love it, is not in itself a praiseworthy attitude.  It is only in reference to truth and to genuine value that unswerving loyalty is an obligation, and a virtue.  In regard to all errors and negative values (that is, evils in the widest sense of the term, but particularly in a morally relevant sense) we have, on the contrary, the duty to break with what we formerly cherished and to withdraw our allegiance from them, once we know them to be false and negative in value.  Indeed, the obligation of fidelity in a formal and automatic sense must not hamper our readiness to separate ourselves from such ideals or convictions, once we have serious reasons to doubt their validity.  There is only one fidelity to which we are absolutely committed:  that is, fidelity towards God, the epitome of all values, and towards everything that represents God and is instrumental to us in approaching Him."

Who is Dietrich von Hildebrand?

Born October 12, 1889 in Florence of German parents, Dietrich von Hildebrand was an original philosopher and religious writer, a brave anti-Nazi activist, an outspoken Christian witness, and a unique representative of Western culture - truly a great figure in twentieth century religious, political, intellectual, and cultural history. As the son of a famous sculptor, von Hildebrand grew up in an unusually rich aesthetic milieu, receiving a formation that allowed him to become an eminently cultured man. He was, quite literally, a Renaissance man.

Von Hildebrand studied philosophy under Edmund Husserl, who declared his dissertation to be a work of genius. He was profoundly influenced by his close friend, the brilliant German philosopher Max Scheler, who helped to pave the way for von Hildebrand's conversion to Catholicism in 1914.
 
When Hitler rose to power in 1933, von Hildebrand was among the first to recognize and denounce the evil of Hitler and Nazism. A persona non grata in Germany, he left everything and went penniless to Vienna where he founded an anti-Nazi newspaper. With the German occupation of Austria in 1938, von Hildebrand became a political fugitive. Fleeing through Czechoslovakia, Switzerland, France, Portugal, and Brazil, he eventually arrived in the United States in 1940 where he taught for many years at Fordham University in New York City.

Read the entire story at the HildebrandLegacy.org.

I have been so touched by his story, and the story of his wife, Alice.  I have been blessed during the many hours which I have spent watching and listening to interviews with Alice on the EWTN series,  A Knight for Truth:  Transformation in Christ.  I have become a student of Phenomenology and von Hildebrand's philosophy of Personalism,  joining St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein)  and Blessed Pope John Paul II as students of this philosophy.  I am equally blessed to be studying his books, especially his book of the same name,  Transformation in Christ.  Both Blessed John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI have commented on the greatness of this twentieth century philosopher and religious writer: 

Pope John Paul II called Dietrich von Hildebrand "one of the great ethicists of the twentieth century." Pope Benedict XVI said this about von Hildebrand, "When the intellectual history of the Catholic Church in the twentieth century is written, the name of Dietrich von Hildebrand will be most prominent among the figures of our time." 

von Hildebrand begins Transformation with man's need and desire to change.   He contrasts the idealist's natural optimism and readiness to develop and perfect himself by his own power with the Christian who knows the "essential inadequacy of all natural morality, as well as the incomparable superiority of virtue supernaturally founded,"  which is the virtue of holiness.

von Hildebrand says:  "His readiness to change will differ, therefore, from that of the Christian, above all in the following respects.  First, he has in mind a relative change only:  an evolution immanent to nature.  His endeavor is not, as is the Christian's, to let his nature as a whole be transformed from above, nor to let his character be stamped with a new coinage, a new face, as it were, whose features far transcend human nature and all its possibilities.  His object is not to be reborn:  to become radically - from the root, that is - another man; he merely wants to perfect himself within the framework of his natural dispositions . . . whereas, with the Christian, it refers to a basic transformation and redemption of things human by things divine:  to a supernatural goal."

von Hildebrand continues:  "The idealist's readiness to change is aimed at certain details or aspects only, never at his character as a whole.  The aspiring man of natural morality is intent on eradicating this defect, on acquiring that virtue; the Christian, however, is intent on becoming another man in all things, in regard to both what is bad and what is naturally good in him.  He knows that what is naturally good, too, is insufficient before God:  that it, too must submit to supernatural transformation — to a re-creation, we might say, by the new principle of supernatural life conveyed to him by Baptism."

I hope you join me on this journey of discovery - discovery of the von Hildebrands, of St. Edith Stein, of Blessed John Paul the Great.  May you be as blessed as I have been.

New Name - New Focus

This, my friends, is Step Two on the little ladder of my life.  I've given up Rantings on the Bay,  but I must admit I won't miss her although she served me well, when I needed her.  Here, I hope to share my passion for Jesus Christ and my beloved Catholic Church.  I will be passing along Catholic news,  information about the Church, the Saints, EWTN, prayer, and my favorite topic Phenomenology.  I will spend much time passing on the teachings of Dietrich von Hildebrand and his wife, Alice.  I hope you enjoy, are blessed, and will pray for me.

Step Two

A friend of mine told me recently that I was ready for Step Two.  That my unceasing days of depression and lack of self confidence (ahem, esteem) were over.  That I have more talent in my little finger than he does in his entire body.  WELL.  What to do with THAT?  I did not really believe my friend, but listened and tried to stop the depressive tears which I had been wiping away all day long. 

I had been pondering the responses to a post I made over in Facebookville.  I said: 

how do you feel when you are no longer needed?  when your children leave the nest...when your spouse dies...when you divorce...when you are fired from your job and can't find another in your field...when you become ill and can no longer work as you once had?  how do you feel when the worth you once had is...gone?

I was very surprised at the responses.  My dear friend AC told me I was "so needed".  Another dear friend told me she had suffered similar losses.  Another said,  "I was laid off from my job and have been applying for jobs every day with no luck...".  One priest totally surprised me with:  That is not the voice of God or of faith speaking.  (((Bummer)))

So, here I am blogging again.  I have crashed and am beginning to rise again.  I believe my friend's "Step Two" line, and am talking myself into the "I am confident, I am worth something, I can do something" thing.  When I made the post in Facebookville,  I wasn't making the, "I'm crying out-suicidal-Post"...I wanted to know how others felt when they felt their "worth" had changed. 

I still wonder about my "worth", but I'm giving the Step Two a try.

Head full of doubt

Why Come Back?

Why come back to a ridiculous blog?  Why rant again?  Why, suddenly am I depressed again?  Why did I think "Rantings" was just for the depressed "me"?  Why, why, why?

I learned long ago not to ask "why?".  "Why" is for children.  "Why" is for spiritual babes.  "Why" never gets anything done.  So, I humbly admit I am regressing.  I am again crashed,  again asking the stupid question, "why?".  The answer is obvious; I know it too well.

What causes wars, and what causes fightings among you?  Is it not your passions that are at war in your members?  You desire and do not have; so you kill.  And you covet and cannot obtain; so you fight and wage war.  You do not have, because you do not ask.  You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  Unfaithful creatures!  Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?  Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.  Or do you suppose it is in vain that the Scripture says,  "He yearns jealously over the spirit which he has made to dwell in us"?  But he gives more grace; therefore it says,  "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble."  Submit yourselves therefore to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you.  Draw near to God and he will draw near to you.  Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you men of double mind.  Be wretched and mourn and weep.  Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to dejection.  Humble yourselves before the Lord and he will exalt you.

James 4:1-10

So, if you are still out there, dear reader of my StupidBlog, please say a prayer for me.  Alas.  It has happened again.

Read the Fine Print

The Avett Brothers have a song about screaming until you die and the bad thoughts are finally out.  But it also speaks of a bird in a cage...demanding that someone free it.  I haven't blogged since February.  March came with a great healing.  I have met many wonderful new friends who have helped me tremendously.  I have felt "healed", even though I have had a few crashes in this time.  I have come to see the source of many of my depressive moods.  I have searched and searched to find answers.  To find healing.  Now, after these months of healing, I again find myself acknowledging that I suffer from MDD, and I most likely always will.  Ah!  Another epiphany!  I am laughing at myself.  Did I enter into my friends' positive thinking world?  Have I been "fooling myself"  that I really don't have MDD?  I think I did.  Long ago I accepted myself for who I was.  It was very freeing.  I freed myself.  So now, in the midst of another crash, I am freeing myself again.  I am me...and it's ok with me.

Personality

What happens when some of your friends like you when you are taking anti-depressants and some don't?  What happens when some of your loved ones think you are fabulous when you are sober and some think you are really fun and interesting after you have had two Kahlua and Creams?  What happens when you don't like your personality in any of these situations?  Or, perhaps one state is good at one time and the other is fine at another time?  Who is right?  Who will decide when I am in my best state?  Which personality is the best?  It hasn't been a fun joke for some months now, but it was fun for a while....talking about the voices in my head and how (((we all))) needed to confer... the "personalities".  The phase of the process now, for me, it to recover who I really am and accept that others won't like me as I am. 

This is what we, who aren't in the business, call:  clawing one's way out.  Say a prayer for me, friend.  It is almost + Lent +
I am giving up hating again.

Crashed

I have crashed again.  Who is surprised?  Who thought it would never happen again?  Not me.  I just find myself surprised at how intense the pain is.  I am surprised that I forgot what this feels like.  I am surprised that I am surprised!  It's like the woman who forgets the pain of childbirth.  I was pacing my apartment wondering where the red flag was that I missed.  I've prayed.  I bathed.  I ate.  I still "want to jump."  It does feel like a never ending test.  

Suicidal Ideation - Part II - What to do

Suicidal Ideation is a common medical term for thoughts about suicide, which may be as detailed as a formulated plan, without the suicidal act itself.  Although most people who undergo suicidal ideation do not commit suicide, some go on to make suicide attempts.  The range of suicidal ideation varies greatly from fleeting to detailed planning, role playing and unsuccessful attempts, which may be deliberately constructed to fail or be discovered, or may be fully intended to succeed.

I wrote about visiting your depressed loved ones some time ago.  Since then I have spoken to many people about what they can do to help their depressed friends.  I have shared stories of depressed friends, suicidal friends, friends who feel "hopeless", friends and family members who have died depressed. Sharing real life stories seems to help the depressed one's loved ones understand what goes on in the mind of someone suffering from mental illness.  Like my friend, Natasha Tracy, I like to define my own "crazy", and do not like the term:  mental illness.  Like Natasha, it brings to my mind a cartoon of someone with their "brains oozing out of their ears".  So, I define my own crazy and defend everyone's right to do the same.  I accept other's stories - with no interrogation.  (((No one can.  No one should.)))  Your crazy and my crazy are ours.  We can dwell in our world and "deal with" our issues as they come.  We like to live in the present moment, whether we dwell here with the Lord Jesus Christ, or whether we dwell here with a small, flickering light, which keeps us wanting to live; we still live and breathe in the present moment, led by someOne, or someThing.  You enter this "crazy" world and you wish to help.  You don't know what to do.

So when our loved one asks us what they can do to help us, what do we say?  What do we say to our friend who suffers watching us suffer?   Call me once a day and check on me.  Bring me something to eat, please.  Play music for me.  Tell me everything will be ok.  Tell me you accept me as I am.  Tell me that you love me, no matter what.  Tell me this is only "a time"... that this will pass.  It always does.   Did I say, bring me something to eat?  I need to "keep the schedule"... encourage me to keep the schedule.  The "heroic moment" when awaking in the morning is crucial.  Please encourage me to keep the hours, eat, pray, love.  Tell me that what I am doing has value.  I may think or wish that today would be my last day on earth, but this doesn't mean I love you less, or not at all.  Suicidal ideation does not mean I will commit the act.  Suicidal ideation can come to me without my willing it.  Suicidal ideation tells you that I am weary.  The fight is bitter.  The days are long.  I wish it were over.  But it doesn't mean I am ready to die.  It doesn't mean I want to die.  But even if the present moment is one where I tell you I want to die...understand that I need to say it.  It does not mean that I will "do it".

So, dear friend, keep doing what you are doing.  My sadness is filled with love for you.  I know you suffer watching me suffer.  This is torture for this small brain.  But I will keep on keeping on.  Not just because I have to or want to...but even because of you.  And when I am very sad and "unresponsive" except to say, Thank you, I love you ... please believe me.

Emotional Abuse

Depression is often caused by emotional abuse by a loved one.  I have received numerous emails from Facebookville friends who appreciate seeing the National Suicide Hotline Number on my "wall".  Often I read stories about troubled children, siblings and spouses.  I never give advice but I often suggest books, blogs or links to good resources.  Lilac Lane, found here, is one of the sites I have found to be very helpful for many people.

Patricia Evans is an interpersonal communications specialist and the author of five books on the topic of verbal abuse.  I have read all of her books and highly recommend them.  She speaks here about verbal abuse and what a verbally abusive relationship is.

May Almighty God bless you with peace.

Putting out Fires

You know I'm going to rant with that title.  The week from hell continues far beyond eight days for me.  First my used cat just up and died.  I did want to give him away but I did not want to watch him cry and then die.  Twas a bummer for sure.  Then the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity began and I found myself putting out fire after fire.  (((i usually like irony)))  This continues today.  It's like the moon won't stop being full.  I know this time the problem isn't menopause or MDD.  (((i don't think)))

There is fighting among Catholics over in Facebookville and here on the outside.  The Protestants are insulting the Catholics and the Catholics are insulting them back.  I try not to cross the line, but have turned on my caps lock for a few words, I admit,  though not to insult but to raise my voice.  I have been accused of attitudes and intentions which were unknown to me...cyber communication failures, I'm sure.  On the outside, the challenge to keep the caps lock off is more difficult.  Here I can't even keep track of all the fires around me these days.  The daily goal has become calmness and as much silence as I can endure.  Many things have helped me stay above the Total Crash Line.  The schedule, family, friends, food, prayer and the Church seem to be the foam for the fires right now.

I'm still trying...putting out the fires in my own head along the way...and very thankful to be hanging on...still.

Pacem In Terris

"But first We must speak of man's rights. Man has the right to live. He has the right to bodily integrity and to the means necessary for the proper development of life, particularly food, clothing, shelter, medical care, rest, and, finally, the necessary social services. In consequence, he has the right to be looked after in the event of ill health; disability stemming from his work; widowhood; old age; enforced unemployment; or whenever through no fault of his own he is deprived of the means of livelihood."

The encyclical, Pacem in Terris, on Establishing Universal Peace in Truth, Justice, Charity, and Liberty, by Pope John XXIII, 11 April, 1963, speaks of technological society and how we must harness it for our own benefit.  He pinpoints the disunity among men and nations and the order which must be restored.

Regarding man's moral and cultural rights, he said:   "Moreover, man has a natural right to be respected. He has a right to his good name. He has a right to freedom in investigating the truth, and—within the limits of the moral order and the common good—to freedom of speech and publication, and to freedom to pursue whatever profession he may choose. He has the right, also, to be accurately informed about public events."  

This is the beginning of a right order among men;  we must recognize that:  "Any well-regulated and productive association of men in society demands the acceptance of one fundamental principle: that each individual man is truly a person. His is a nature, that is, endowed with intelligence and free will. As such he has rights and duties, which together flow as a direct consequence from his nature. These rights and duties are universal and inviolable, and therefore altogether inalienable."

Find the entire encyclical here

St. Patrick's Breastplate

It is said that in the Fifth century A.D. Saint Patrick came to the Hill of Slane early in his attempt to convert pagan Ireland to the light of christianity. On the eve of the Christian feast of Easter, 433 A.D. which appropriately coincides with the pagan feast of Beltane and the spring equinox, St. Patrick lit a bonfire upon the Hill of Slane. The law in force at the time was no fire should lit in the in the vicinity when a great festival fire blazed at the Royal seat of power on the visibly nearby Hill of Tara.

The King rode off in a war chariot with his retinue to arrest the mystery rebel. As the kings horses thundered up the Hill Patrick calmed his few disciples and immediately set to eloquence. Patrick's gift of eloquence went to high gear and somehow--some say through an earthquake, others by holding up a shamrock--he convinced the King of his earnest intent and belief in the power of the Holy Trinity. It was a power that Patrick thought would be useful to the King who could only wish that his own soldiers could wield the kind of bravery through deep conviction that Patrick displayed. The King took Patrick and his disciples prisoner and they were marched by to the Hill of Tara, chanting prayers. By morning light, Patrick and his men were spared and allowed to preach Christianity to the pagan army.

Hey, Blue Lady

Hey, blue lady,

 depressed and fighting.

 hanging on. hang on.

without manipulation

without threats.

you were known while still in your mother's womb.

wonderfully made.

 fix it your way.

no more old games

with fear

intimidation

loathing.

imitate your mother in heaven.

she tells you:  Do whatever He tells you.

she penetrates the level of justice in God 

to

a more profound level of mercy.

read the wedding at Cana, take two and call me in the morning.

+JMJ+

Mind Games

Rest in Peace, James Farentino

James Farentino

February 24, 1938-January 24, 2012

Simon Peter,  Jesus of Nazareth, the film

World Communications Day 2012

the following is Vatican Radio's report on the theme for World Communications Day, 2012.  The theme is:

Silence and Word:  Path of Evangelization

On Tuesday morning Pope Benedict XVI released his annual message for World Communications Day which falls on May 20.

The theme chosen this year is “Silence and Word: Path of Evangelization” and Benedict explains, “it concerns the relationship between silence and word: two aspects of communication which need to be kept in balance, to alternate and to be integrated with one another if authentic dialogue and deep closeness between people are to be achieved.”

And he observes that it is often in silence that we observe the most authentic communication taking place between people who are in love with gestures, facial expressions and body language.

In a time when messages and information are plentiful – the Pope says - silence becomes essential if we are to distinguish what is important from what is insignificant or secondary. 

And the Pope reflects on the process of communication which nowadays is largely fuelled by questions in search of answers. 

He mentions the role of search engines, social networks and the internet and pointed out that people today are frequently bombarded with answers to questions they have never asked and to needs of which they were unaware. 

“If we are to recognize and focus upon the truly important questions” – Benedict says – “then silence is a precious commodity that enables us to exercise proper discernment in the face of the surcharge of stimuli and data that we receive”.

And he says that amid the complexity and diversity of the world of communications many find themselves confronted with the ultimate questions of human existence: Who am I? What can I know? What ought I to do? What may I hope? 

It is important – the Pope explains - to affirm those who ask these questions, and to open up the possibility of a profound dialogue, by means of words and interchange, but also through the call to silent reflection, something that is often more eloquent than a hasty answer and permits seekers to reach into the depths of their being and open themselves to the path towards knowledge that God has inscribed in human hearts”.

Men and women – he says - cannot rest content with a superficial and unquestioning exchange of skeptical opinions and experiences of life. We are all in search of truth and we share this profound yearning today more than ever.

So, the Pope points out that attention should be paid to the various types of websites, applications and social networks as well as making space for silence and occasions for prayer, meditation or sharing of the word of God.

And pointing out that the God of biblical revelation speaks also without words, we in turn discover in silence the possibility of speaking with God and about God. 

In speaking of God’s grandeur, our language will always prove inadequate and must make space for silent contemplation. And silent contemplation, he says, immerses us in the source of that Love who directs us towards our neighbours so that we may feel their suffering and offer them the light of Christ, his message of life and his saving gift of the fullness of love.

And speaking of the fundamental question of the meaning of human existence, the Pope says it finds in the mystery of Christ an answer capable of bringing peace to the restless human heart.

The Church’s mission springs from this mystery- he says - and it is this mystery which impels Christians to become heralds of hope and salvation, witnesses of that love which promotes human dignity and builds justice and peace. 

In conclusion Pope Benedict says “learning to communicate is learning to listen and contemplate as well as speak. This – he points out - is especially important for those engaged in the task of evangelization”.

The Audience

it has been strongly suggested that i focus.

i should "know" my audience.

fine.

as "we" say.

this is for my depressed friends, of course.

and my children and grandchildren.

in the end it will be for them to decide

if i am stark, raving lunatic,

raving lunatic, or

merely ranting.

The Hypocrites are us

Yes, kids, the topic this week over yonder in Facebookville is this one. Sigh.  "We" do our best to explain the Catholic response to riches and poverty, but in the end we all are hypocrites.

Often, um, VeryOften, I am the one with the "hypocrite present" light flashing above my head (as an alert for the aliens, you know).  The grace of Almighty God always sends something or someone around to remind me of "what I already know".  I know it's not just the Church Militant which aids me but the entire Church:  Militant, Suffering, Triumphant.

Even though you see something very bad about your neighbor, don't jump immediately to conclusions, but rather make excuses for him interiorly.  Excuse his intention, if you cannot excuse his action.  Think that he may have acted out of ignorance, or by surprise, or accidentally.  If the thing is so blatant that it cannot be denied, even so, believe it to be so, and say inwardly:  the temptation must have been very strong.

-St. Bernard, Sermon on the Canticle of Canticles, 40

Do nothing from selfishness or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves.

-Philippians 2:3

So, next time you see me in Facebookville and I'm flying my freakFlag a little too high, remind me of what I already know, please.

Internet Dogs

i am wondering why complete strangers think they have the liberty to speak such cruel words in response to a blog such as this one.  

yesterday i wrote about my adoption and received more than a few nasty comments. only one was

 g-rated enough to post.

makes me want to be more myself

in real life.

Peacenik

the politics is killing me.

years ago i realized 

i am partyless.

today i decided

i am now a Peacenik.

i will still vote.

(((under duress)))

U.S. Adoption: Anti-Catholicism and Eugenics

Sister Irene Fitzgibbons, New York Foundling Hospital

I like to pretend that it would be no problem for me to live and survive in a little house on the prairie.  I fancy myself as one who can whip up gravy from nothing and keep that fire stoked like any-ole-man could.  I have heroines from our early American days including Laura Ingalls Wilder and Sister Irene, seen in this photograph.  In 1869, Sister Irene rented a house,  put a white wicker cradle outside the door and waited to take in unwanted babies.  The first month she had 45 abandoned children.

By 1879, Sister Irene and a Protestant minister (with anti-Catholic motives) helped relocate thousands of orphans via the "Orphan Train", where children were transported from New York City to parts west.  These children were not adopted but were indentured...servants like those adopted in ancient Rome, India and China.  President Theodore Roosevelt stepped in to declare, in 1909, that "the nuclear family represented the highest and finest product of civilization and is best able to serve as primary caretaker for the abandoned and orphaned."  Still there were fears.  Fears about the genetic quality of illegitimate and indigent children (((and the Catholic faith))) were common as eugenics was popular during this "Progressive" time in the United States.  (((This attitude changed only when the US population was forced to reject Hitler's own eugenic policies.)))  

The new idea for adoption laws included strict consideration of what was in the "best interests of the child", and even stricter still, the secrecy clause.  The fears here were again poverty and Catholicism. Would poor, trashy, criminal, Catholics,  come to reclaim their children from their adoptive homes?  Thanks to the Horrible War,  the years between 1945 and 1970 were fast-rising adoption years.  The stigma lessened more and more until the Great Adoption Peak in 1970.  (((of course the decline was rapid and permanent thanks to the Birth Control Pill and Abortion on Demand.)))

I hate the secrecy clause the most.  My dear adopted dad was born before the clause.  He had the golden ticket to find his mother.  He never did and regretted it.  I am the Adopted in Secret Generation.  Now, most may choose Open or Closed Adoption.  What about those of us who dwell in between?  Some states have changed their laws about unsealing adoption records.  In the state of my birth, Michigan, I may submit my name as wishing to be contacted if anyone is searching for me but that is all I get.  Oh. Except for the letter.  I requested non-identifying information on my birth mother and natural father.  I was hoping for medical information.  All I got was a very long letter, the contents of which was a very sorrowful soap opera-type story.  Yay for me.  Yet another reason for sarcasm. (((Oh, and no one IS looking for me.)))

So, while Sister Irene is my hero, in my opinion the adoption laws in our country are horrible.  What began well has ended badly.  I don't wonder why there are a disproportionate number of adoptees my age who are in therapy.  Perhaps I'll include my own messed up adoption on my list for my shrink.  Wait! I forgot I dumped him for not liking me defining my own crazy.  For sure I will finally blog one day about Being Adopted.  (((Waiting for more sarcasm and irony to invade the topic.))) 

Taking Control is Allowed?

I really don't like satan's box much less its keyboard.  I learned how to type in 1974 on a manual typewriter. We learned and practiced our exercises to music.  The old lady teacher was WayCool.  I was stoned at every class and can still type 92 words-per-TheMinute (no errors).  I am full of errors on this keyboard, both typo and idiocy-o errors.  Lately I have shed tears on my keyboard...I just don't like it.  I recently asked someone over at Facebookville how to make the sign of the cross (+) to look like his (which I cannot demonstrate here).  After a few tries (((control, alt, zero, one, three...control alt))) and seeing a few show-offs successfully post the said cross, it was determined that I was impotent because I was a Mac.  Sigh.

As usual, I took control of the most recent failure and accepted with joy my little plus sign.  Along the way, since accepting the "disorder", I have played my own little musical exercises.  I play music as loud as my apartment neighbors will tolerate, and ponder the ways I may control my thoughts, ideas, words, and sprialdowns.  Sometimes it works.  What hurts is when you are in success-mode and are feeling fine, then suddenly (and it seems out of nowhere) the very loved ones who wish you well and are pleased to see you out and about, demand (or make you feel like it's a demand) that you raise your own bar up a notch?  You know...you've taken a walk, now let's start jogging.  I am lucky to make it to just that place under the normal line,  the jogging may never happen in my world, again.  (((was skater not jogger anyway)  

This is where the sweet and beautiful control factor comes in and thanks to many folks who are wiser than I, I have learned that I am allowed to define my own crazy, take control of my "peaceful world", and press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.  (Philippians 3:14)

Facebookville, the Sequel. the Contradiction.

'Tis a separate universe over there in Facebookville.  The last time I realized this in the profound way in which I did these last few weeks, was when I wrote this - well, I wrote the title.  In one day such irony took over my thoughts and invaded the pictures in my brain.  It did feel like my brain was slowly oozing out of my ears.

This lovely and beautiful, kind and gracious Christmas season has left me out of breath and bewildered.
My invisible friends over There have sent me or wished me multitudes of Christmas blessings!  Fabulous, indeed.  I also have received about half of that number rude, perverted, satanic, romantic, ignorant, perverted private and public greetings. (((did i say perverted?)))  I got Snarky, now and then.  I don't care. no. mo.

I am who I am and know it well. I die daily!  First letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 15: 31 +
Our rich United States of America (and preborn infant killing country) has forgotten her prayer:

Now I lay me

down to sleep.

I pray the Lord,

my soul to keep.

If I should die

before I wake.

I pray the Lord

my soul

to 

take

We are so sure of our existence, apart from Almighty God, that we do not pray the prayer of deathSleep.  Life must end for this day and, God willing, He grants us breath, we awake from the tomb of sleep, and begin again.  Hopefully with a Morning Offering, Act of Faith, Act of Hope, and Act of Love.  With our "priorities" out of order, we are free to awaken day after day the same. Another day to be rude, arrogant, romantic, perverted, prideful, judgmental, ignorant, blahblahblah...with invisible friends who may or may not be who they say they are. We are all friends. (((we are laffin)))  

The beautiful song of the peaceful death. Dying daily.  with Christ Jesus before our eyes.

((('tis funny. I had picket signs with Paul Hill (here) for a Pearl Jam concert.)))

Breathing! and wishing you and your loved ones a very hopeful and peaceful New Year! 

Happy New Year - the Year of the Lord 2012

It is the year 2012!  Here, at my local 7-Eleven, there is one stand-alone display near the front of the store with EVERYTHING one might need to survive the mean streets of my quaint, little, Annapolis.  I did become ill.

Our Lady of the Predicament, pray for us.  
Happy New Year And a Blessed Solemnity of Mary, the Mother of God! +