Step Two

A friend of mine told me recently that I was ready for Step Two.  That my unceasing days of depression and lack of self confidence (ahem, esteem) were over.  That I have more talent in my little finger than he does in his entire body.  WELL.  What to do with THAT?  I did not really believe my friend, but listened and tried to stop the depressive tears which I had been wiping away all day long. 

I had been pondering the responses to a post I made over in Facebookville.  I said: 

how do you feel when you are no longer needed?  when your children leave the nest...when your spouse dies...when you divorce...when you are fired from your job and can't find another in your field...when you become ill and can no longer work as you once had?  how do you feel when the worth you once had is...gone?

I was very surprised at the responses.  My dear friend AC told me I was "so needed".  Another dear friend told me she had suffered similar losses.  Another said,  "I was laid off from my job and have been applying for jobs every day with no luck...".  One priest totally surprised me with:  That is not the voice of God or of faith speaking.  (((Bummer)))

So, here I am blogging again.  I have crashed and am beginning to rise again.  I believe my friend's "Step Two" line, and am talking myself into the "I am confident, I am worth something, I can do something" thing.  When I made the post in Facebookville,  I wasn't making the, "I'm crying out-suicidal-Post"...I wanted to know how others felt when they felt their "worth" had changed. 

I still wonder about my "worth", but I'm giving the Step Two a try.