How Can You Wear a Sundress?

I read a story once about a woman who visited her sister in a mental health hospital.  When she arrived her sister greeted her with the words:  How can you wear a sundress as if nothing is wrong?   The woman thought to herself:  At least she is telling me what she is thinking.  I have thought about this exchange many times after trying, myself, to explain to others what I am thinking. 

The "not talking", "no explanations", silent and paralyzing state I find myself in often, could be explained by the sister's greeting to the woman.  She said out loud what I am thinking.  The husband, when I shared this story with him said,  "The woman is thinking, why are you like this when nothing is wrong?"  Indeed.  But everything is wrong and The husband is getting it.

We listened to an interview of a woman suffering with depression who was describing why people who are depressed become "recluse".  She described trying to get out of the house, making the prescribed appointments with friends, attempts to explain the state of her mind, and ultimately, retreating back to her "safe place" where she is in control of her environment.  Here no one is scrupulously watching, here no explanations are necessary.   It is not a "better" place to be, as the woman interviewed said, but it is "easier".  It is true. You could understand it by the tone of the woman's voice....you can't hear it here.

It makes no sense, the sundress story.  But it tells a big story.  Something is very wrong. You don't have to understand,  but if you visit me,  please, no sundresses.